Monday, April 4, 2011

Horrifically Beautiful

Today was one of those horrifically beautiful days. I woke up this morning with a hunger inside of me to hear even just one whisper from my God. Have you have ever had a morning like that? Oh, how I wish I could say that every morning I could sense that ravishing desire to hear from my God – but many days (most days) I allow my breakfast to do it’s best to curve my appetite. But this morning was different. It was deep in my soul that I NEEDED my God today.

I spent some time in prayer and read through a few verses in Romans – Do not conform yourself to the patters of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Hm. After a conversation with my sweet man just the night before, he had spun my head in a new direction I hadn’t given enough thought to. Although I don’t know the exact words he said to me, my heart heard this: Do you want to make good people or do you want to make disciples? Obviously, my soul could not find a resting place as I climbed into my bed last night.

Have I conformed to the patterns of the World with a desire to inspire and empower, yet taken the focus away from giving an invitation for each of us to look ourselves in the mirror and confront our sin? The definition of transformation that stirred inside of me was this one: a seemingly miraculous change in appearance of the actors in view of the audience. Transformation isn’t just seemingly miraculous; it IS miraculous! It’s taking something that wasn’t and making it something that is. Yet it means that when we provide an invitation for transformation within our lives, God is there ready to change us. And, it’s not just a change that comes about from a feeling of inspiration or empowerment; it’s a change that comes from the work of the Holy Spirit saturating our lives. I don’t want to make good people – I want to be a part of the transformation process that produces disciples – world changers – ambassadors of Christ!

All that and I hadn’t even made it to work yet! But the spiritual bread I was given this morning was the imperative fuel I needed for what was ahead. At 9:
25am I received a phone call from a friend saying that her little sister (22 years old) was killed in a car accident. Devastation, despair, and tears were all I could muster up. As fast as I could I jumped in my car, drove across town, and wrapped my arms so tightly around her hoping some of hear heartache would rub off on me. It didn’t, but God gave me such a sweet moment with her. He gave me a moment to sit across the kitchen table from her, hold her hands in mine, and pray for the Comforter, the Prince of Peace to overtake her heart. The reason for prayer was horrific, but the heartbeat was absolutely beautiful.

I’m done making good people. I’m ready to make disciples. It was the tragedy that took a life today that made the sobering reality true – “good people” make this World bearable among the destruction; disciples make this world worth it – worth the heartache and pain, worth the ups and downs, worth running the race knowing that this world not our home.

Jesus – take my life and let it be consecrated, Lord to thee. Take my moments and my days let them flow in endless praise. Take my hands and let them move at the impulse of thy love. Take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee. Take my voice and let it sing, always only for my King. Take my lips and let them be filled with messages from Thee. Take my silver and my gold, not a mite would I withhold. Take my intellect and use every power as thou shalt choose. Take my will and make it thine it shall be no longer mine. Take my heart it is thine own it shall be thy Royal Thrown. Take my love my Lord, I pour, at Thy feet my treasure store. Take myself and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.



Kris said...

Thanks for sharing this.. I needed someone else to feel the same way I have been feeling lately.

Miss you friend.

Vanessa Vann said...

Krista - we probably should have a phone convo soon! I would love to what God is doing in and through you! Can you send your Email address over to me - text, email, whatever :) Thanks! love ya girl!